Pam Boney

Pam Boney

PCC, MA, Founder & CEO

Author and thought-leader in the domain of character science, Pam has been researching character strengths, traits, and derailers for her entire career. Previously a senior executive in the hospitality industry, she left to become an entrepreneur. She has founded three companies & is deeply committed to the education of character intelligence in organizations to promote ethical innovation that can help solve the complex problems of our time.

Erika Bill Peter

Erika Bill Peter

Chief Learning Officer

An Executive Coach and consultant, Erika has devoted her entire career to understanding human dynamics and transformation in a variety of contexts. Having worked with and in diverse industries, companies, and countries, she brings a wealth of hands-on experience in helping individuals, teams, and organizations become their best true selves by unleashing their potential and finding their purpose.

Understand The Four Most Common Coaching Themes that you must know to grow your coaching and consulting business!

Reserve Your Seat Now

Coaches, consultants, and trainers are highly empathetic and can easily get carried away by the emotional story of their clients. This makes it difficult to train their clients to solve their problems!

To address this consistent pattern, Alina Trigubenko, Founder & CEO of Profi, will have a discussion with Pam Boney, Founder & CEO of Tilt365, and Erika Bill Peter, Chief Learning Officer of Tilt365, to help you better understand the underlying faulty beliefs, misconceptions, and defense mechanisms that drive people's actions.

Together, we will explore The Four Themes that all types of coaches and consultants must use. From life coaches and career consultants to wellness trainers and financial mentors, these themes will help you empower your clients in a way that feels authentic and meaningful. These themes will help you understand how to better communicate with your clients, reach out to them in the right way, and get them engaged in the process.

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This webinar will be helpful to you in your practice if:

  • You're interested in learning more about how to support your clients.
  • You want to help your clients identify their own strengths instead of just relying on you while they work on their issues.
  • You want to help your clients use their strengths in a way that will set them up for success.
  • You're interested in learning more about identifying faulty beliefs and defense mechanisms driving people's behaviors, so you can help them change those beliefs and processes.
  • You want to help your clients move beyond these four patterns and create a new way of life that feels more satisfying.

Click below to learn more about the Four Most Common Coaching Themes that every coach must know to grow his coaching and consulting business.

Reserve Your Seat Now

Webinar Agenda:

  • An overview of the Tilt365 Framework¬†
  • A deep dive into the four common coaching themes from a consultant and coach's perspective
  • Implementing the Laser-Focused Coaching approach
  • Q&A session

BONUS: An Exclusive Offer that will be offered to everyone who registered for the webinar. 

(if you can’t join in person, we will share the recording and the offer after the webinar)

[00:00:00] Alina Trigubenko: Thank you for joining us. I know it's Friday and is close to holidays and probably the toughest time to find any spot in your calendars and your schedule. We very much appreciate you taking time and joining us for this awesome fireside chat.

[00:00:16] Alina Trigubenko: We love hosting and having a very conversational format so whenever you have questions, please do jump in with your thoughts or maybe feedback or something you highlighted from the conversation as we go, that's always interesting too. Just connect with everyone.

[00:00:38] Alina Trigubenko: That's one of the reasons why we're here. And let me start by introducing this beautiful group of people for this chat  about the four most common coaching themes. So here we have Pam, who is the founder and CEO of Tilt 365. 

[00:01:00] Pam Boney: Nice to meet everyone, and thank you for being here.

[00:01:04] Alina Trigubenko: Awesome. And then Erika, too. 

Erika Bill Peter: Hello. That's me. Yeah, I'm excited as well , to talk about this really interesting topic in the next hour. 

 Alina Trigubenko: Awesome. And I'm Alina. I'm very privileged to be working with an awesome group of folks at Profi as well as with people like Tilt365 and others in the industry.

[00:01:27] Alina Trigubenko: It's an amazing industry to work with because people are so interesting, always looking out for blind spots, new areas and new opportunities to help others, in whatever way possible . It's a Beautiful journey. So let's get it started.

[00:01:51] Erika Bill Peter: Excellent. So, we have an interesting agenda today, because we really wanna get to the bottom of some human dynamics that we see at Tilt and show you how you can look at them by showing us our framework.

[00:02:06] Erika Bill Peter: We do a real deep dive into this. Common human patterns that we see and how they might be showing up and give you some examples of that. and the last thing we wanna do, of course, because this is about coaching, is how can you work with those patterns, knowing those patterns and using a very unique approach, that we found really effective.

[00:02:31] Erika Bill Peter: It's called a laser focus coaching approach on how to use that information to make real changes, transformational changes in people.

[00:02:40] Erika Bill Peter: Right. We are finished with Q&A, so if you have any questions coming up,we wanna make this interactive, but also you wanna make sure we answer all your questions. So it might be easiest if you just put them into the chat or in the Q&A and we'll come back to them as soon as we are ready.

[00:02:57] Pam Boney: All right. So, we are going to be talking about human dynamics, which is of great interest to all of us that are in this profession, of course. So we are uniquely gifted usually when we're coached at observing other people's patterns and we're fascinated with them and we study them and so forth.

[00:03:22] Pam Boney: That's really what the Tilt 365 framework was derived from, my fascination with what, why people do what they do. and, as a leader many, many years ago, just before we, before we share the framework in a moment, I'll just tell you why I even started this research 35 years ago. I noticed a dynamic that people are usually doing one of two things when they're at work.

[00:03:54] Pam Boney: They're either fully engaged in their work and in the present [00:04:00] moment and doing what they do and figuring out how can I do it better and how can I be more efficient, whatever it is that is their work. Or they get caught up in and triggered by what I call people dynamics or drama and dysfunction  because of these hidden fears that reside inside of us that happen during change, especially.

[00:04:25] Pam Boney: And so the world that we're living in today is like changes, like happening all the time now. It's not something that comes and goes anymore.So what we're seeing in the workplace today, especially in coaching, is that people come into the coaching call with a lot of feelings and symptoms of fears, but they don't know how to name what those fears are.

[00:04:51] Pam Boney: And they don't know why it's happening and they really just are looking for relief, as quickly as possible. So what we've done is [00:05:00] do quite a lot of work in this laser coaching field, like how can we help them really quickly make a shift to their better self that knows what to do? And they all have that in there too but they just sometimes need to know a little bit more, about how to clarify what's really going on under the surface so that they know how to then make a quick shift.

[00:05:25] Pam Boney: So this framework is a visual framework. And Erika, I think you can go ahead and, and. Go to this slide now. But what I decided to do because of this dynamic as a leader, I thought, well, if I could reduce the amount of time people are spending triggered and in fear, in hidden fear, especially unconscious fear with each other, and doing the thing of like, well, what about me and why wasn't I invited to that meeting?

[00:05:50] Pam Boney: And what's gonna happen to my title and what's gonna happen if we have a merger or what if I'm eliminated?, all of these things that happen during [00:06:00] change that are, that are for specific fears that we can  answer tell you about that, that show up in these four patterns, but what I thought as a leader at the time was, what if I could reduce the amount of time that we get triggered by helping people  not, not not have emotions, they're going to have emotions, but to be aware that when the emotions arise, what's going on so that they quickly can self-regulate.

[00:06:30] Pam Boney: And if they could do that more, then we would have more time where we're focused on work. So it  could have a huge exponential positive impact on the work that we can accomplish. But just, just by virtue of the time that we spend. So this framework started with me observing patterns of behaviors that are personality trait related behaviors that e are either positive [00:07:00] or negative.

[00:07:01] Pam Boney: And I'd used something called Aristotle's Golden mean, and started recording, and, and making qualitative records of every little trait that I noticed in myself and every little trait that I noticed in other people. And also the impact that those traits would have on others. So when you look at this framework, what you're seeing in the blue around the perimeter of this circle are 12 character strengths.

[00:07:29] Pam Boney: Those are dimensions that are positive, collections of human behavior that really are about character. So they're character strengths, and that's character strengths are essentially, short for self-regulating your behavior. So we use character and intentional choice to regulate the personality because personality can be good, but it can also be very ego-based and fear-based.

[00:07:58] Pam Boney: So we have to be aware of [00:08:00] what we're doing and why we're doing it, but most importantly, how often we're doing it, how frequently we're doing it. So over the years, I created this framework so that we could understand what's going on in the internal psyche, and how we can strengthen our inner self-concept and our inner locus of control and our ability to quickly self-regulate.

[00:08:25] Pam Boney: by, by learning our particular fear patterns, our particular motivations and demotivations. And so when you see the four corners here, the colors and the, the names or the, what we would call a personality archetype, cross pollinator change, catalyst mastermind, and quiet genius, we've really taken all of humanity and put them into four boxes to start.

[00:08:51] Pam Boney: We did that because we feel that these are the four most common behaviors that we need to be able to quickly clue [00:09:00] into when we're in the work environment, and especially when we're doing executive coaching or coaching in general, if we can quickly clue into, ah, this is a mastermind that likes to operate with structure, for example, in the bottom right hand.

[00:09:15] Pam Boney: That person likes to be efficient. They like to be  on time and do things accurately, precisely, consciously, and so on. And these are things that  as coaches, you observe these patterns just like I do, and Erika does, and all of us do, but we wanted to build a visual framework so that you only have four to start with, that you can quickly identify and quickly help them to shift.

[00:09:43] Pam Boney: Now we've also collected research over the course of time to find out what kinds of problematic behaviors or problematic coaching themes come up by these four particular patterns, and to go back to [00:10:00] my example of the Mastermind, they tend to be a little bit of a perfectionist. We're gonna get into that in just a moment.

[00:10:07] Pam Boney: But that  example of a perfectionist manifests in a lot of different ways, so we need to be able to recognize like 10 or 20 themes that might come up when someone has this particular pattern. And we built it into this framework so that as a coach we have a way to kind of categorize this is what the brain likes to do in order to clarify something or understand it first.

[00:10:35] Pam Boney: And then we wanna move away from categorizing and helping understand as coaches that people are very complex too, ? So we actually have all of these inside of us, every one of us does. So we, we, we, we put people in the box first, then we quickly take them back out and say, Hey, you have all of these patterns actually.

[00:10:58] Pam Boney: So one of the things [00:11:00] that I wanted to do to  focus on when I first, when I was an executive in the hospitality industry, but also as a coach over the first  10 or so years when I was working on my master's degree and studying this  archetype that, I mean this  framework that I have built is  to answer the question, what is it that drives suffering?

[00:11:23] Pam Boney: What is it that makes us feel inside that we are potentially in a, in a situation that fear is, is the right response? And of course, we all know this whole thing about is it real danger and should we have fear? So fear is useful in those situations, but ego fear may or may not be useful and it's the ego fear.

[00:11:50] Pam Boney: When I, when we bring that up, it's like for example, during change,  is my job gonna be red? Be redundant, and so I'm gonna be eliminated, [00:12:00] or is my territory shrinking? Or, am I gonna lose that relationship with that last supervisor that I invested the last two years in and now I've gotta report to someone new and rebuild that relationship?

[00:12:14] Pam Boney: So these are the kinds of fears that happen during change, and it's all legitimate, but we in our own thinking, create suffering ourselves   so that that inner suffering that we create comes from the hidden fear, kind of manifesting in these things about worries about the past and worries about the future.

[00:12:36] Pam Boney: And it takes us out of the present where we have a choice to actually do something so quickly, the four patterns, each of the four patterns is driven by two specific fears. And those are also needs we also have a need that manifests because of that fear. So, for example, the structure, [00:13:00], example that we were talking about earlier, the Mastermind, has one fear that can manifest, that is vulnerability, and then they will, to compensate for that, have a stronger need for power and autonomy.

[00:13:15] Pam Boney: And the stronger that is, the more fear there is, the more they might tend to dominate or even bully, and, and the other one that influences the structure, there are two, two quadrants that come together for each corner.The other one is a fear of I'm not enough. I am somehow less than others. And with social media the way it is today, this one is rampant.

[00:13:41] Pam Boney:   Everybody's life looks better than ours   so am I inferior is the hidden question that happens and arises inside of us. That, that kind of makes our need for status and significance, more sign  stronger in us., [00:14:00] and if it really feels fearful, then we will become the critic of those other people, so that we can kind of feel superior.

[00:14:08] Pam Boney: How we love seeing somebody else and palm in harm's way, or  not in harm's way, but how we love to see someone else suffer. It makes us feel like, oh, we're not alone. So anyway, these two fears come together at the corners and help us understand like, oh, these are the two that are gonna upset me.

[00:14:29] Pam Boney: So let's say my company's going through a merger. Well, if I'm the structure tilt pattern, I'm gonna worry about loss of power and autonomy. So I'm gonna worry about loss of territory. I'm gonna worry about having less people under me, or things like that. And if I'm, Structure. I'm also gonna worry about my title.

[00:14:50] Pam Boney: How's my title gonna change? Am I, am I further down in the hierarchy than I was before? So those sorts of things are, they're, they're not real [00:15:00] danger because you still have a job. You still have your need to be a good leader. And so quickly in coaching, if somebody comes into the call, we can kind of be with them in their fears, love them through it  and kind of say, yeah, I know how you feel.

[00:15:21] Pam Boney: Let's, let's, let's, let's process that a bit because we're human and we need a chance to be able to talk about these things and feel our feelings, and feel our frustrations and feel our resentments and so forth, but then we've, we've got to ta tap into our better self. That's the job of coaching. And so, these structures of this research really help us to be able to predict.

[00:15:47] Pam Boney:That the person, that structure is gonna worry about these particular two things during a merger, for example or, more so than somebody whose connection, who's not gonna worry about [00:16:00] that as much. They're gonna worry about two other things. They're gonna be worried about the relationships they built and how their relationships have changed within the new organization.

[00:16:13] Pam Boney: Or is their freedom being taken away or will they not be able to be their unique self and  have the creative freedom or the creative license that they used to have, and will they be trapped in some new role that's redefined. And , now I can't do what I had planned on doing and create what I had planned on creating.

[00:16:34] Pam Boney: So all of the fears are different, but it's really helpful for us to know the research behind what drives us. The motivation or de-motivation of each of the four. So I'm gonna stop right there. We can't, we could go on about this forever, but we need to stop right there.

[00:16:52] Erika Bill Peter: Perfect. That was a great introduction to the till ball and how it relates to the patterns that we are going to look at [00:17:00] just now.

[00:17:01] Erika Bill Peter: and, we have collected these patterns by doing a lot of coaching and applying the Tilt model. And  we also use that in our coaching class that we teach. So what you're going to hear now is we pick one particular coaching theme for each of the patterns we have collected more than just one, but pick the dominant one we see.

[00:17:25] Erika Bill Peter: But, when we teach our coaching class, we go in on many different topics. So, Pam, do you wanna start with this one? Because

[00:17:34] Erika Bill Peter: Yeah,

[00:17:35] Pam Boney: I'll do the first one since this one's mine.

[00:17:37] Erika Bill Peter: Yes.

[00:17:38] Pam Boney: So I know  my tilt, my pa my tilt is impact. So my favorite pattern, my top set of strengths, is called Impact The Change Catalyst.

[00:17:53] Pam Boney: Change Catalyst is a good name and it's a good archetype, and it's who I am at my [00:18:00] best. But when I get triggered or when I get fearful, I become something else. And I will tend to overuse the trait that I'm the best at and become the steamroller. So , I have to watch, like becoming dominant. I have to watch how firm I can be, how overconfident sometimes and underestimating the extent of difficulty of what I'm suggesting is a simple thing to do, those sorts of things.

[00:18:32] Pam Boney: So bulldozing coming in and saving the day as a firefighter, fixating on a problem. I love to say that I get angst  like, oh, I'm angsty about that right now cuz I can't find the answer, or the adventurous revel like anti-authority. So I don't need a boss.

[00:18:54] Pam Boney: If I can figure it out myself. And at my worst I can [00:19:00] also be compulsive , not compulsive, sorry, impulsive, and make a decision without considering all of the different things that that could impact. So it's just fun to start by telling on yourself first when you're speaking negatively about human beings here.

[00:19:18] Pam Boney: so anyway, this is my pattern that I have to watch out for. What's really going on under the surface is this sense of urgency and this, this, that drives the fear. That you're gonna run out of time or run out of luck to be a success, because failure is not an option when your impact. So there's a deep feeling of vulnerability and that you're not gonna succeed.

[00:19:49] Pam Boney: So I might fail, I might be a failure. My, my leg, my luck's gonna run out. So as a result, there's this really strong emphasis on speed getting [00:20:00] there first and doing it quickly. So this results in an impatience with others and even an ability or not an ability, but a tendency to dismiss risks to dismiss how complex things might be.

[00:20:17] Pam Boney: And a demand that people get on the train or get off, or I'm going to dismiss you. So that's the steamroller. So this is what's going on underneath the surface. Those of you that have experienced people like me or other people that have this pattern,  what it feels like , to be in a situation where this is going on.

[00:20:38] Pam Boney: So let's say someone comes into your coaching and they're talking like this. What we need to do is help them slow down. Because if they will slow down and be patient, they'll, they can tune in to the better version of themselves, the, the larger version of themselves. Because the small self is, is going to be all worried about, [00:21:00] , the, how quickly we move.

[00:21:02] Erika Bill Peter: Great. That was nice. It's always nice to talk about your own right, and sometimes it's not as comfortable. So the next one structure, this is actually not mine  but we decided  both of us take two. So mine is coming later  but the structure one, we looked at that as well before, right?

[00:21:21] Erika Bill Peter: and when we are fearful of stress, what happens in structure, we get too perfectionistic and so you see a couple of things here what, what's coming out as a result we look for every little detail that we can find. It's the fault finder if it needs to be that, that perfect thing for the Libra.

[00:21:42] Erika Bill Peter: So we need to make sure everything is at the top but it can also manifest itself by showing I really know it better than you. It's a know-it-all. I know more than you. I'm, I'm better than you as well. And I'm here to rescue. I'm here to rescue everybody. [00:22:00] I deliver great results and I make sure I do this well.

[00:22:04] Erika Bill Peter: It's also a little bit the lone wolf inside that I, I can be the one, I can be the rescuer and I'm not dependent on. Oftentimes they're the ones who critique everybody else  as well, and tell you in a minute as well what's going on under that underneath that. And with that it is a feeling of superiority.

[00:22:26] Erika Bill Peter: I'm better than others. I feel elevated. And that gives  the person in structure that's overused a really good feeling about themselves. So again, you hear again a lot, it's about their needs entering pricing their fears.

[00:22:42] Erika Bill Peter: So what, what exactly is going on with the perfectionist here?, might remember when we saw, showed you the tilt model is that you need to have status, status, being seen as somebody, a significance you is an expert in something [00:23:00] and to prove that  we show that perfectionistic tendencies and also because that comes from the courage quo.

[00:23:07] Erika Bill Peter: , they, they don't wanna be vulnerable. They don't wanna show their own , not perfectionist sense. So, they have to pretend I am a perfectionist. I know it all. I can do it all. And so that's, that, always that drive to make it better and better and better. So it's exhausting.

[00:23:26] Erika Bill Peter: This is exhausting for a structured person because deep inside they know they're not perfect   but they don't like that feeling because it tells them, I'm not wealthy enough. I'm not good enough at the end. So as a result, they'll show this dominant way of showing up and, and outside and inside that don't feel like that, but that has an impact on others.

[00:23:51] Erika Bill Peter: if you think about these people who show up like that, it's hard to really have a healthy relationship. It feels like always against this person are [00:24:00] both you and you feel below here   and it's not on equal terms., and therefore it doesn't feel like we are really working together as in a partnership here.

[00:24:10] Erika Bill Peter: It's more

[00:24:10] Pam Boney: like the judge, right? Versus the steamroller so the dominance is  kind of also co colored with the critic that comes from the wisdom quadrant.

[00:24:21] Erika Bill Peter: Exactly, yeah. Because the impact can also feel dominant, but in different ways, right? And here , how we work with those people.

[00:24:32] Erika Bill Peter: It's really lightened up just a little bit take it easy let it go a little bit.

[00:24:39] Pam Boney: Be playful, let your creative self out your relationships  likability. Exactly right. So next one, Pam, you can take this one. Yeah. So the clarity, the quiet genius can, in an overuse [00:25:00] sense, like if they overuse it, and all four of these were  we're introducing the, the negative  side of it and how it's gonna show up in fear.

[00:25:08] Pam Boney: Remember, there is a lot about the positive side of all of these in the  assessments that we've put out. In fact, they're mostly written from a positive psychology standpoint, but as coaches, we kind of need to know what's under the surface and what's the negative stuff going on. So when we say overused clarity, it's when it's overused, and played out too strongly.

[00:25:33] Pam Boney: We can, it can be perceived by others as the naysayer and or the, the kind of the blocker or the stone Waller. And this person is very much a warrior, really good at analytics and analyzing the risks involved. So they're good at mitigating risk and so forth, but if they're fearful, they're gonna be [00:26:00] quiet and they're gonna be quietly critical.

[00:26:03] Pam Boney: So may give you the silent treatment or may withdraw or  be vague or get confused and, and indecisive, and they're gonna kind of play it close to the chest and not take risk and say much  when they  when they're not agreeing with where things are going, and what we wanna do with this  set of patterns when they show up in coaching, is understand that their fear is about being  skeptical and  worried about all the different things that could go wrong, and how wise it is to be cautious, and avoid risk, or avoid being exposed and  saying things that might hurt people because they care a lot about how people, feel about them.

[00:26:53] Pam Boney: But the result is that they'll also come into coaching and say, I will never get promoted because nobody [00:27:00] knows my skill set, or I'm not saying, I'm not putting my voice   you nobody, nobody hears me when I speak, and so on. So then they kind of miss out. On sharing the great sense of depth of knowledge that they have.

[00:27:18] Pam Boney: And so they don't make the impact that they could, and so usually this is a theme of kind of being overlooked. Like, I feel like I'm overlooked or people don't hear me, or, somebody else took my idea. I had the idea first. And they do know a lot. So anyway, they're great sources of information, but the impact on others is that they can kind of shut down everyone in the meeting if they do, begin being a naysayer or, stonewalling forward action.

[00:27:52] Pam Boney: And this can create frustration, a lack of feeling that we can take any risk at [00:28:00] all because there's so many things that could go wrong. Certainly. so this can, this can impact relationships and mostly it affects the person because they're not putting their firm voice forward and they're not being heard about the risk.

[00:28:16] Pam Boney:, instead, they're kind of critical  holding it close to the chest.

[00:28:21] Pam Boney: Oh, so how do we help them? I forgot.

[00:28:23] Erika Bill Peter: Oh, sorry. Yes.

[00:28:24] Pam Boney: Yeah. So how do we help them? We're just giving you the quick and dirty here, but how do we help them? We help them speak up louder and sooner. That's kind of the general ... What is it that you're not telling people? What is it that you need to speak of more assertively and more firmly and maybe more loud?

[00:28:45] Erika Bill Peter: Excellent. Great. So the last one, connection here., that's my, my tale. So that's an easy one for me to talk about, but also, right. It's always a bit embarrassing as well if you talk about your own   so when overused  [00:29:00] again, as Pam said, that's all positives about each of those. You focus right now and are overused.

[00:29:06] Erika Bill Peter: the trend becomes a story spinner. So because

connection tilts like to be in the center of a center of attention. It's all about other people. They wanna be liked, they wanna be connected to people, they've tried to really Get people to listen to them and be liked.

[00:29:25] Erika Bill Peter: So they're exaggerating they're bringing a lot of emotion and they twist the truth with that a little bit. It doesn't matter exactly   if it's the right fact here, it needs to be a creative story. They're great storytellers, so, so they're fabricating a little bit the truth here and, and the.

[00:29:45] Erika Bill Peter:, so again, because they like to be the popular one, they wanna be liked, they wanna  have a lot of people they are connected to. So with that also  people who like to just adjust whoever they [00:30:00] talk to, so if they meet somebody who is bold, they might show up as bold as well to please them.

[00:30:06] Erika Bill Peter: If they'll meet with somebody else who is a different type, they can be quite different. And , that's very confusing, right? One time you show up like that and someone, one time you show up like that. And they can even lose their identity because they know, don't know anymore who they are at the end because they wanna be like  the peacemakers, they always try to avoid conflicts.

[00:30:28] Erika Bill Peter: They try to be a diplomat between other people as well, and , they also can be a bit superficial at times because they'll sometimes be called collectors, because they like to be with a lot of people. And it's hard to be with a lot of people and be deep with everybody.

[00:30:48] Erika Bill Peter: And the conditional caretaker is really about they wanna take care of others, but at the end it's really about their own needs. Being satisfied with their own needs to be part of [00:31:00] somebody, be, be helpful, be worthwhile, be connected to people. So what is going on  under the connection about striving them  mentioned a little bit already before.

[00:31:14] Erika Bill Peter: So there's the fear of being left out, to be alone by yourself. Nobody is really interested in you. Nobody wants you being rejected at the end. And so that really gets to the self. And , they're getting into a relationship with orders and, and pleasing orders so they feel whole again and worthwhile with orders.

[00:31:37] Erika Bill Peter: So a lot of the tension is put outside to orders  because there's no feeling of wholeness inside. So that's what we see results here. And then what happens though, what's really risky is  it's also that people  getting confused or they feel we are not authentic with them   [00:32:00] and, it's, it's actually here.

[00:32:02] Erika Bill Peter: The risk is from another one, but it's, it's really about that they're not honest, authentic relationship at the end. Even though they're, they'll try to do that  and they're, they're kind of losing their inner compass  they're losing that inner, who am I and what do I want and need? So how we help them is really growing the, the self-worth in, in a self-worth, and going back to who they are so they can  balance  helping others and being referral in an authentic way.

[00:32:33] Pam Boney: Often it's about boundaries, right? Like, cuz they'll put everybody else first and then complain that I'm overwhelmed because I have, I've got too many people who need me   so they haven't taken care of themselves so, so it's put some boundaries in place and take care of the self first., and what do you really stand for?

[00:32:54] Pam Boney: , like what stands in your convictions instead of being what everybody else wants you to be. [00:33:00]

[00:33:00] Erika Bill Peter: Yeah, exactly.

[00:33:01] Erika Bill Peter: All right. So again, we took questions then I'm sure might have triggered some, some really interesting questions. I'm curious, curious to hear them but wanna go through the last part, cause we wanna show again how, how can we build a help? You already talked a little about how we approach each type.

[00:33:20] Erika Bill Peter: but we also have learned a really powerful coaching method that we wanna share with you. It's called the laser focus coaching approach. And, and so just in a nutshell, what this is about is what it does what, what we often get tangled up in, our culture's story, and we then suddenly end up helping them think through the problem.

[00:33:44] Erika Bill Peter: how can we resolve it? And they come in that tell us about  some challenges that are probably driven by one of the tilt patterns. And then we start problem solving and figuring out how, how can we do that? And we really forget about the fact that [00:34:00] it's not so much about solving the problem right away, but really figuring out how you can think about how you contribute to the problem.

[00:34:09] Erika Bill Peter: So how does, what we just saw before? The connection tilt actually creates a problem in the first hand by being so pleasing   how do you, how does that play into your problems that you have? So when you see here, it focuses on a problem, not the person. Right? We really focus on how the person contributed to the problem and we don't help solve the problem, but help the person figure out what they are making.

[00:34:38] Erika Bill Peter: So some of the key questions we are using, in the laser focused coaching approaches, we are thinking about, so why is this a problem for the person? What makes this a problem for this person? Because not each person has the same problems as we saw the connection tilt and the impact tilt. They have very different problems.

[00:34:58] Erika Bill Peter: And what's a problem for the impact [00:35:00] Tilt is not a problem for the connection tilt. So we really have to dig deeper. What, why is this a problem for you? What is the problem for you? Another key question is, why are they telling me this? What is, what is coming up for them? What's the story behind that's really, really interesting?

[00:35:19] Erika Bill Peter: And  that, that is the other key thing we have always focused on. What is the mindset they're coming in with?, that, that, that, that's, that should be challenged   they're coming in with some preconceived notion  they come in with old stories that are not examined. So what is  that story that is bringing in that we don't examine is that unexamined live script that is coming in and we dig deeper into finding out what is contributing to that.

[00:35:50] Erika Bill Peter: So we really help them surface and see their old patterns, their old stories, and their old mindsets.

[00:35:58] Pam Boney: Erika, I just wanna say [00:36:00] that when we discovered, so Erika and I both have been coaching for more than two decades and  learned the way that  the coaching profession has taught us to teach or taught us to coach for years.

[00:36:11] Pam Boney: When we encountered the laser method a few years ago, probably about four or five years ago, it totally transformed our coaching., I don't wanna speak for Erika, but it, it. There are things that I learned like that I was , listening to their story for 30 minutes. And then, once they finish their story, there's this implication that I'm going to have an answer then, and that kind of sets up the wrong dynamic with our client.

[00:36:41] Pam Boney: , so one of the principles of laser coaching is don't ask them to don't ask them what, what they already know. Well, they already know the whole story. They already know all the details of the story. We don't need to know all of them. We just need to know the gist. And then to ask them a really important question  that [00:37:00] makes them stop and think  like, why  how is this thought that I'm serving  me  or is it creating suffering?

[00:37:09] Pam Boney: So a really powerful set of guiding principles that we collected and curated on the methodology of laser coaching. We went out and studied all of the different authors who are working with this laser coaching method, and Erika and I put this course together, and, by doing that we taught it with Carol, who's our MCC coach.

[00:37:34] Pam Boney: That is just phenomenal, mentor coach, for helping practice with the method so the three of us teach the course together and it's really fun. We use two different books. So two of the contributors of the laser coaching method, our favorite being Marian Franklin, whom some of you might know and marsh.

[00:38:01] Pam Boney:, Reynolds. Yes, and those are the two textbooks that we use. But we did curate and find the best of the best out of the laser coaching method and map it to the tilt framework  and the tilt coaching model. It all comes together in this very organized and structured way that can help people really take their coaching to a whole different level.

[00:38:25] Pam Boney: Like it, it totally makes mine, so much more effective and it's fun too.

[00:38:31] Erika Bill Peter: Yeah, this is great. Thank you for telling a bit more the story, how we got about that and, and both we brought together. So it's really a marriage between the tilt framework and the laser coaching approach. So it is the best, I think of the best.

[00:38:45] Erika Bill Peter: again, as, as Pam said, we have been both coaching for many, many years and we see  such an increase of impact we have and, and. Fun with that as well, with coaching, using this method and, and with that, focusing on the person, [00:39:00], approach of laser focus coaching and until the framework, we really take a quick and deep dive on the person dynamic underlying, dynamic human dynamics here.

[00:39:12] Erika Bill Peter: And , instead of  learning  the best hundred questions to ask or 10 questions or top questions. As a coach, what we, we, we really learn in this laser coaching masterclass is being present and listening deeply to what the person has to say. So we can actually see some of those human patterns that show up, that we know, that show up, and we can then make meaning out of it.

[00:39:38] Erika Bill Peter: So we really focus a lot on this faulty thinking and misconceptions that our clients bring in. and we then know  what's underlying that with the till framework, what are the underlying fears so we can quickly focus on and then help them understand what's really driving that. So it's a power of both the laser coaching approach and the till framework.[00:40:00]

[00:40:00] Pam Boney: It's really fun over the course of the four months that we're in  the cohort to see how good everyone gets at forming questions  really, really powerful questions that make people stop, and I, I've, we've put everybody in our team through it as well. And now , as the leader of Tilt, I'll have, so people on my team , throw laser coaching at me.

[00:40:25] Pam Boney: Sometimes it stops me in my tracks and makes me a better leader too.

[00:40:32] Erika Bill Peter: Yeah, it is, it is a fun process and it's a deep transformation and people feel not just a learning laser coaching skills, but it's also personal transformation because they're always bringing to the practice session their own work as well, applying the laser coaching method.

[00:40:47] Erika Bill Peter: So it is personal growth, and coaching skills growth. It's always done in a cohort and, and it's an intimate cohort, but big enough so you get  some really great other coaches to [00:41:00] learn from and , not just from us three instructors, but also from the coaching community   just hear a little bit, an overview how we go about it.

[00:41:09] Erika Bill Peter: So each week , we give some content to study. It's self-paced, so everybody prepares ahead of time. There's videos and readings and applications. And then we come together each week for a discussion call to apply and deepen the learning. And there's every week a practice call to quickly apply this in, in a real coaching environment, coaching practice.

[00:41:33] Erika Bill Peter: And that's how we move through the 16 weeks   always bringing new topics from the laser coaching side and the till side  and, and really get really proficient in that by the end.

[00:41:46] Pam Boney: And we share all of the collected  research on  the, on the coaching themes or the coaching issues that.

[00:41:57] Erika Bill Peter: Yeah, so we gave you a little bit of a snippet of [00:42:00] that today.

[00:42:00] Erika Bill Peter: But of course, when we go through the coaching teams, there's many, many more aspects of that. And we bring this in, you see this in a later part, or  and we use the tilt model as well as our coaching model, which has been proven to be very powerful to navigate in flexible ways through your coachings.

[00:42:19] Erika Bill Peter: And, and we are very pleased. It's being approved by ICF as well for  the 60 hours of training you need on the core competencies. And we offer afterwards additional mentor coaching as well that's needed for a CC credential. So you have to hold a package when you are interested in that.

[00:42:38] Erika Bill Peter: , we also just got approved , so you can use it for that as. So happy to talk more about this if you're interested. Of course, Yeah, and we actually have cohorts. The next call starts next year in February. We just finished up our fifth cohort this year. So this will be our sixth one coming. So [00:43:00] if you have an interest in learning more about it, you can go on our website and read more about the approach and how we go about it.

[00:43:06] Erika Bill Peter: But if you wanna learn more, please feel free. Feel free to reach out to me as well, directly to talk about it. I can give you much more information about it. But, so before we go any further, yeah, actually let, let's, let's  go, go about, and we have one more, and then we come back to the questions.

[00:43:30] Alina Trigubenko: Awesome. I have a couple of questions that I'll ask. Sure. I've been holding it because it's a very interesting topic. As a coach myself, I'm always hungry for new tools and new instruments , to get deeper and work more holistically with clients. Also, yes, so Profi, we focus on end-to-end workflow support, so the entire service delivery process.

[00:43:55] Alina Trigubenko: So you as coaches can focus on all of those beautiful methodologies [00:44:00] on helping the clients, expanding your and maximizing your impact versus managing tech. Playing an engineer at night and  Work that you should not be doing. Our mission is to double the impact of professional service providers, coaches, trainers, consultants, health and wellness, therapists so we can scale, help and help more people  in the world  get to the right for them, help and, reach their potential.

[00:44:33] Alina Trigubenko: So, yes, let's go to the next slide that you have, and then we'll get to the question.

[00:44:41] Erika Bill Peter: Yeah. Yeah. Actually we wanna give you a little bit of a special present before the holidays and a special offer since you attended the webinar. So if, if you are interested in showing our cohort, Lisa Ma coaching Masterclass  we actually wanna give you $400 off.

[00:44:56] Erika Bill Peter:if you wanna join as a present [00:45:00] and probably also give you a present. Do you wanna talk about Atlanta?

[00:45:04] Alina Trigubenko: Yeah. That's so generous. It's a holiday gift, right? So Profi  we normally help one month pretrial for our solo accounts, but we are extending it to three months free trial to those who are attending this webinar.

[00:45:19] Alina Trigubenko:, and also we have a team and corporate accounts. But reach out if you're interested in more kinds of work optimization. Thank you. So let's get to the questions.

[00:45:39] Alina Trigubenko: I actually have one. Do you, would, do you say that, a laser coaching works better on one or another type or laser coaching is kind of type agnostic so it's really , something that every type depends on the independent of their kind of underlying [00:46:00] patterns. Laser coaching would be a good fit for,

[00:46:05] Erika Bill Peter: should I go for, I can take,

[00:46:07] Pam Boney: It's a good question.

[00:46:09] Erika Bill Peter: Ok. It's a good question. Actually, I think it is, it's working with every type. But what it does is because it's really a human, we really listen to that story underneath how they're contributing. And every type till type has a different story.

[00:46:27] Erika Bill Peter: So it works for everybody., but , what we bring in, when, when  the tilt framework,  how to approach each person is slightly different   and especially if you also know your own tilt pattern  we often talk about  so what does it mean when I'm a connection tilt and I'm, I'm actually  , coaching in order connection tilt as well, that causes some blind spots, right?

[00:46:53] Erika Bill Peter: So it's easier. But we also know, using laser coaching methods, we need to be [00:47:00] careful, that we help the person, balance out, not just please their type. So when we ask those questions, we know, for example, an impact tilt goes quickly to action. They're just, they might just flow over  understanding what's really going on or seeing new options and say, okay, I know what's the problem.

[00:47:21] Erika Bill Peter: Let me fix this and just do that so that's the power of the tilt framer in laser coaching. We know how to adjust to different types.

[00:47:31] Pam Boney: I think sometimes Alina, people think laser coaching must mean efficient and quick , coaching. And so it seems like it might be better for impact cuz they like to be quick and speedy.

[00:47:44] Pam Boney: But it's actually not that. And if you read Marian Franklin's book  they call it laser, she calls it laser focused coaching. What it really is kind of a metaphor for is not speed. It does, it is [00:48:00] speedy. But what happens is you're using a laser focused light to kind of shine the light into the actual thing that's going on, the root cause of the thing that's going on.

[00:48:10] Pam Boney: So it's really more like a laser light than laser fast but the laser light is laser fast, so it is also quicker, but not always.

[00:48:23] Alina Trigubenko: Very interesting. Would you love combining, let's say, laser focused coaching, laser coaching with any other methodologies? Because I know that coaching work is, it's always a beautiful, unique blend of tools that you use. Yeah. Do you feel Laser coaching is a really good fit? But any other methodology or tool?

[00:48:48] Pam Boney: Definitely  some people think, oh, you've got this one method and you're gonna use that for everything. No, our view is that laser coaching is a method or a technique to add to what [00:49:00] you already do., and it is  real. I love doing that. It's actually made the way that I coach better, but I'm still unique in my coaching approach.

[00:49:11] Pam Boney:  unique to me. And each person, each coach is unique to their own way of doing it., and we all wear different hats as well. So  I think what we try to do in the course is zero in on the laser coaching technique. So you master it in the course, and then once you come out, it becomes an integrated part of who you are and how you work and how you operate because you've practiced it so much.

[00:49:39] Pam Boney:, we think even leaders can learn how to laser coach their team, or HR business partners can learn how to coach the team that they're supporting by using this method. But you can, you sometimes also need to instruct or teach or consult or,  [00:50:00] , do, there are many different hats that we can wear.

[00:50:03] Pam Boney: , so I don't think it is like the one in all  solution for everything. What do you think here? Yeah, go ahead. Or, yeah.

[00:50:12] Erika Bill Peter: Yeah. I would say the same. I do the same, right? I definitely, it's my preferred method now, but , when I see it, there's all things needed. I pull this in of course. Yeah.

[00:50:24] Alina Trigubenko: Yeah. As they say , sales is an essential skill. I feel like coaching is also an essential skill, right? Yeah. Cause it's just something that we have to use, we, we should use. I have to, but we should use, and we  definitely help perfect ourselves and others around us if we use a coaching kind of techniques and our work.

[00:50:44] Alina Trigubenko: It doesn't matter what exactly we do, but it's just a helpful tool. Do you  based on my, based on our experience properly, we noticed that  this kind of chemistry is a very big factor of success when a coach, [00:51:00], consultants to trainer, basically, pretty much any human to human interaction. So would you, would you, would you, would you kind of suggest or think that knowing the type, the health type right away would help  kind of streamline the chemistry and maybe induce the chemistry?

[00:51:22] Alina Trigubenko: Or can Yeah. Stimulate the chemistry between a client and a coach? Or do you think it's in another kind of parallel of 

[00:51:35] Pam Boney: It's like all human systems, right? Like you're noticing their pattern, your pattern, the dynamic of the third pattern that you create together. so, so I think it's  I think the, the, I'm not sure I'm answering it a hundred percent your question, but I think what  what I would say is that  the patterns help you quickly [00:52:00] identify like what, what Erika has said.

[00:52:02] Pam Boney: If I know I'm a connection and I'm coaching somebody that's connected, we might have a blind spot together. Or if I'm coaching the opposite pattern, we might have some friction or tension that comes sometimes, or differences of the ways that we think that things should be  different speed or pace that we operate at different volume levels.

[00:52:24] Pam Boney: So I, I think it helps me to kind of , figure out how I can  , be a better coach for that particular person and it, and be aware of my own dynamic with that.

[00:52:40] Erika Bill Peter: Yeah, I would agree with that, Pam. And perhaps to add on as well  so the work we are doing at Tilt when we are tilt coaches is, is really work on ourselves as well.

[00:52:50] Erika Bill Peter: That means, we are trying to avoid those extremes that are caused by fear and stress that we just saw. So we all really work on [00:53:00] managing those patterns much better and also not just be the, the prefer tilt pattern. But also becoming more comfortable with the other side. So me being connected actually moved to impact  more recently because that's what was needed.

[00:53:16] Erika Bill Peter: And now, sometimes we need to go into structure planning. So when we as coaches grow and do our self growth, we are much more agile and more balanced. That means as well as when we work with our clients in terms of chemistry. We, we can adjust what's needed and we are not just, I'm that type of coach and deal with that, but we, we can say, yes, I can be bold or when I need to be, if that serves the client, I can be more structured if that's what the CLE client needs.

[00:53:52] Pam Boney: while at the same time both trying to stay out of our ego and in an authentic [00:54:00] relationship.

[00:54:01] Pam Boney: So if the relationship is  me being real and they're being real, there's more of a chance that we drop the egos than we really get  down to business with what's really going on.

[00:54:13] Alina Trigubenko: Yeah. This resonates, this, this feels like being egoless being kind of wellness and getting straight to this  in intimate kind of connection.

[00:54:24] Alina Trigubenko:, and, knowing how to navigate with this person, sounds like exactly the recipe for good chemistry but there might be more up to that. But this sounds very much aligned to that. And what do you say that, I know that because you, you see so much data in you're sitting on a pile of data.

[00:54:44] Alina Trigubenko: What do you see? What do you say that you notice any pattern, for example, type is being prevalent in a specific either age group or specific kind of job type or [00:55:00] anything else, any patterns that you've noticed?

[00:55:03] Pam Boney: Yeah, we do have a lot of research on those sorts of things, but it really varies depending on the, the, the human system  the company, the, the department  the company always has subcultures.

[00:55:16] Pam Boney: So there. Human systems can be so fluid and, and can change so quickly when the external environment changes  so too. So when, right now, we're seeing so much change in the industry that we specialize in, which is technology, they're all hurting this year and previous years they've had wonderful times for the last decade.

[00:55:41] Pam Boney: , so they're all kind of freaking out a bit right now, and they're not used to feeling those fears. They're not used to the anxiety or the frustration or the resentments or the fear of change, so what's really I think, rewarding as a coach is [00:56:00] to, is to be able to help them in that time of need and  kind of love 'em through it in a way.

[00:56:05] Pam Boney: Like yes, it's okay, like, you're gonna live, let's, let's talk about it and, help them very quickly make a shift. Because I'd say that most of the clients that we work with are really good people that can, they know what they need to do, but they just need someone to be able to process the feelings that they're having and to understand and have a framework that helps them to understand why they're doing it.

[00:56:32] Pam Boney: like exercise that we know when character is there. We know when it's not there, but it's easier, it's, it's more, it's more prevalent when it's not present. And fear is happening, for everybody to think, oh, everything's a big mess. And so yes, we're hearing more of that  like everything's a mess.

[00:56:55] Pam Boney:, but really, is it  we, that's the fear of the past, the fear [00:57:00] of the future, the present moment. You can actually do something with it. And, most people, when you remind them who, who you are and what do you really wanna do here they get, they immediately shift into their, their better self.

[00:57:15] Alina Trigubenko: I'll be quoting you on the Loving them through it. Through. Yeah. Yeah. You said it a couple of times, so you think it's beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful approach. You wanted to add something?

[00:57:28] Erika Bill Peter: I just wanna add  again, see, do we see certain panels showing up more in certain jobs? And as Pam said  it depends, like even a sales role is very different in one organization, another one in some organization, you need to be very technical.

[00:57:42] Erika Bill Peter: And then we might see more clarity tilts in there. But in other organizations, it's more about the relationship than it might be connection. But as Pam said  there's external factors as well influencing somebody's tilt. So when there is chaos in the world , people tend [00:58:00] to perhaps tilt in another direction because they need to protect themselves.

[00:58:04] Erika Bill Peter: So we see shifts happening all the time.

[00:58:09] Alina Trigubenko: Definitely. Interesting. Thank you so much., there is a question that actually just, oh  let me, Go through it too. let's say you want to see a quick change inside the company leadership quality. Is it better to train a team of people inside the company, or one person would be enough to start applying it to see the change?

[00:58:33] Alina Trigubenko:, I guess across the organization?

[00:58:35] Pam Boney: Yeah. Depends on who that person is, but I definitely think that if you have a handful of influential people that can quickly make use of, for example, the framework that helps  like identify like, oh, these are my two fears. Here they are. Notice them shift into real healthy behavior.

[00:58:57] Pam Boney: We have tools that we give them. [00:59:00], one of 'em is intentional tilting. Another one is here's the balanced version of all of. Behaviors that can show up in extremes. So sometimes I'll, with a client, I'll say, look at this taxonomy of behaviors and circle the ones that you think you're doing right now.

[00:59:19] Pam Boney: And then look at the healthy version of that, so for example, if somebody's being worried, worried, worried  the healthy version of that is being alert and being concerned that things are changing and, so there's always a good underlying  intention underneath each of our negative behaviors.

[00:59:41] Pam Boney: So it's a matter of notice the fear, notice how it's influencing how you're thinking or feeling, and how it's showing up with others and quickly pull it into, a better place., so that, so that you can  turn yourself around fairly quickly. So we give them a lot of frameworks and tools that can help them [01:00:00] do that.

[01:00:01] Pam Boney: come back to that, come back, come back to themselves.

[01:00:07] Erika Bill Peter: Just looking at the time, we are mindful of the time that we are done, but there have been great questions that you ask us here at the end. And there might have been more questions, but if you have more questions, feel free to reach directly out to us Tilt the Profi, and we are happy to have more conversations.

[01:00:27] Alina Trigubenko: Thank you so much. I learned a lot actually. I took a couple of notes that I'll be contemplating on thank you. It's been extremely interesting and I'm looking forward to learning more from you. We, thanks everyone

[01:00:39] Pam Boney: to a long partnership with you, Alina. We've, we've been, we've been watching each other and interacting for a few years now, and it's very exciting to see your funding and how much it's  expanded your, your platform and  really made it a powerful platform.

[01:00:56] Pam Boney: So we're, we're happy to be in partnership with you and [01:01:00] appreciate the opportunity to speak with you on the platform together.

[01:01:06] Alina Trigubenko: Likewise. Thank you so much. That's my favorite thing about being in this business is the ability to partner with people like yourself  and with the missions and help you succeed and achieve more.

[01:01:19] Alina Trigubenko: That's why we do what we do and  work tirelessly in, because technology is a multiplier and that's what we chose. Our team chose to multiply this impact that's very important for everyone's wellbeing and potential. So thank you. Thank you everyone. We'd love to hear any, any feedback, any questions, any thoughts.

[01:01:44] Alina Trigubenko: Just shoot us a message or email and let's keep the conversation going. Thank you

[01:01:49] Pam Boney: Happy holidays to everyone.

[01:01:52] Alina Trigubenko: Yeah, happy holidays.

[01:01:53] Erika Bill Peter: Bye.


Friday, December 16, 2022
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